Least-Worst Election

It’s half past eight here on this sunny Prague morning and thousands of polling stations opened just over 30 minutes ago in Britain.

Despite living, for now, in the Czech Republic, I could have voted today but chose not to.

Sure, it’s clearly vital to know who will manage brexit, manage the national economy and provide appropriate responses to a Europe terrified from both within and without.

But no party standing today ticks more than one of any of these boxes, if any. They offer only a choice of who might be least worst if elected.

The offerings are below pitiful, despite the country facing its most important set of crises since World War II.

  • Theresa May and the Conservatives want to police the internet more tightly in the name of “fighting extremism” and “hate speech”. This effectively means doing little about religion-based violence on our streets while stifling dissent and criticism of government online. It’s also odd that a party dedicated to small government is actually incubating a police state.
  • Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has neither held down a real job nor even completed a college education in his life. But he has consorted with terrorists from Hamas, the IRA, et al. Labour’s team of would-be ministers have never failed to embarrass themselves when questioned about any detail in their manifesto pledges.
  • Leader of the Liberal Democrat rump party is Tim Farron. His constant evasions and filibustering suggests a man who’d rather be somewhere else entirely. With eight MPs in the previous parliament, Lib Dems stand no chance winning.
  • No other party is worth comment.

Schools closed for the day, community centres and town halls form temporary polling stations where people will visit until 10 o’clock tonight. All venues will surely be on highest alert after very recent terror attacks in London and Manchester.

But it only takes one nutter with a kitchen knife, one lunatic behind the wheel of a car, or a martyr wrapped in explosive belts. Lord knows there have been plenty of volunteers so far, committing atrocities right across Europe and beyond.

And when I return to England soon, for I must, will I find a nation begging for martial law in response to daily terrors? Or will Great Britain have transformed into a socialist utopia modeled after Venezuela?

I’ll find out soon enough. We all will.